Sunday, February 16, 2014

To my waitress . . . I am sorry


Dear Waitress,

Tonight my 9 year old son advised me that I did not handle things very well this evening at dinner.  So, I want to apologize.  

I have always said that EVERY server/waiter/waitress should be tipped, since that is how you make a living.  I have made sure to emphasize that to my son (obviously) so that he will learn to leave a good tip when he is old enough to do so.  I have taught my son to always leave a tip, no matter what.  I make a point to share with him how much I tip and to always tip more than what is the “expected” amount, since there are so many people today that don’t bother to tip at all or who leave ridiculously small tips.  I’ve even gone so far as to explain to him how unfairly servers are paid $2.13 an hour and that the tips are what make up the difference for the minimum wage and then some.  But tonight I did something that I have never done in my life. I did not leave a tip.  And I am truly sorry. 

You see, tonight I was disappointed by our service and I should have spoken to you about it.  When you asked for our drink orders and immediately asked if we were ready to order, I felt rushed because we had just sat down.  I asked for creamer for my 2nd cup of coffee, but my coffee was lukewarm by the time I received the creamer.  Our food was brought out by someone else and my son's order was incorrect, but you were so rushed that we hardly got to tell you, so when we asked for extra mayonnaise and you said "you've got two" to my husband, I was annoyed because what you didn’t realize was that we wanted the extra mayo for my son's burger, that was incorrect to begin with. 

So, I asked the manager for some mayonnaise, butter, and creamer.  When he brought it to our table, he asked if everything was ok. At first, I said it was fine. Then, he asked again, and I told him I was bothered by the way in which you had remarked that we had 2 packets of mayonnaise already, when we asked for more.  At that point, I really didn't want to bother you with any more requests.

Apparently, he said something to you about it, because after my son & husband were done eating you came by our table and very curtly placed extra mayonnaise on the table and left.  You did the same thing with the creamer.  Dropped it and left.  I don't blame you for being visibly upset.  Ironically, I am always telling my son to go straight to the source if you have a problem. And he, very graciously, pointed that out to me tonight.

You were obviously having a rough night and I should have recognized that.   I should have put myself in your shoes and recognized that you needed a smile, not a frown. . .  an encouraging word, not my thoughtlessness of not leaving a tip. . . you needed a break. 

My bill was around $30.  Please find enclosed your tip of $20. 
Again, I am sorry for not leaving a tip and for not addressing my concerns with you.  I pray that you have a blessed day and you can forgive my thoughtlessness.  

~  Kim  

To those that asked . . . Yes  *** I actually did leave a letter for our server, but it only included the first 2 lines of the above letter and the last two paragraphs. *** 

I felt that I did not need to go into detail and rehash the events, because I wanted her to know I was sincere in my apology.  I did not want her to think I was being sarcastic or begrudgingly leaving a tip.
I am HUMAN.   I made a mistake and now I have owned up to it.  Something that I am glad my son was able to witness.  So that he knows it is ok to make mistakes, but it is important that you acknowledge them, fix it, and move on. 

Servers work hard for their money and the tips we leave are not really tips at all.  It is their paycheck. 

If I had treated her with the same courtesy that I expect others to treat me, then . . .

I would have spoken with her kindly and given her a smile. 
I would have told her that I could see she was busy. 
I would have never left without leaving a tip.  

As my son reminded me . . . "We reap what we sow."

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Not ALL disabilities are easily SEEN . . .

WOW. People never cease to amaze me.

Making assumptions as to whether or not someone is disabled, makes you look like an idiot. Not everyone with a disability, has a disability that is easily recognized. Not all disabilities are VISUALLY noticeable.

I was just reading a friend's facebook post about people getting tickets for parking in a disabled parking spot, with no proof of disability on their vehicle. PLEASE make no mistake, I AGREE that people should not be parking in those spots without proof that they have the right to park there.

However . . . I was saddened at some of the other comments regarding toilet stalls, ADA seats and shopping carts that were made.

One person wrote that her pet peeve was "able-bodied people using the handicapped stall in the restroom" when there were other stalls available and she couldn't understand why she was treated as if she was "some kind of hateful or horrible person" for saying something to the person who had been in there for a long time.

................Ummm, excuse me, HELLO, you ARE acting in a hateful manner. It's NONE of your business as to why someone is using that "handicapped" stall. Maybe the person using that stall needs a toilet that sits higher, so that they can actually get up off of the seat because of a back or knee problem. Or maybe they have a colostomy bag or a catheter bag and need the extra room, that the handicapped stall provides, to maneauver around to empty or change that bag. Maybe they have an anxiety issue and cannot tolerate small confined spaces without freaking out.

Someone else commented on people not putting carts back in the cart corral. Maybe the person was sick and had to come out to get food for herself and her sick family. Maybe that person was in excruciating pain and had to go out to the store for necessities because they didn't have anyone that could do it for them, and those extra steps were just not worth the pain.

Another comment was about a young male college student sitting in an ADA seat and how he wouldn't move for an individual with a walker to sit in his seat. Yet, the commenter with the other person felt the need to berate him and say nasty things about his mother, until he finally got up and moved.  How do you know that HE was not disabled. What gives you the right to expect someone to move just because you cannot SEE their disability.

People, we really need to take the time to think about the things we do and say to each other. What kind of example are you setting, as a christian, if you feel the need to act in such a NON-loving way? I understand, to some degree, the frustration that people may feel about the above items, but your frustration does not give you the RIGHT to be hateful.  Jesus did not act in such a way.  And if ANYONE had the RIGHT to act in this manner, it was HE!  Jesus told us to LOVE.  We are not to judge or assume.  It is NOT our place.

You see,  I have been on the other end of these scenarios. . . . .
I was the person with a knee problem, who needed the higher seat.  
I was the person in so much pain that the extra steps were just not worth it.  
I was the person who was sitting in the ADA seat, receiving nasty looks and hearing snarky whispers, simply because noone could SEE a disability.

There is a lot to be said about "walking a mile" in someone else's shoes. 
NONE of the above things caused someone to die. 
So, really, there is not any GOOD reason to be so indignant.
Christian Gifts Of Faith

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